That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
