your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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