Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
