he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
