I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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