He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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