They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
