i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
