For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
