Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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