Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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