in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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