are you so shy because you have an std?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
