Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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