a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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