so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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