you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
