This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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