watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize