On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
