I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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