i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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