Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
