you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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