i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Hippo gnu deer
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
