id be glad to
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
