he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
that's an acceptable place to lick
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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