god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
