Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
