I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
