Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
