She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I need to calm my uterus...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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