Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
FUCK WHALES
i out mim tonsoeep
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