My liver just broke up with me...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
