So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
