I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
