Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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