she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
