The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
