You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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