You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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