I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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