the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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