I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
We need to get me chipped asap
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
