I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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