he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Drunk is a universal language darling
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