I bet he comes in French.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i drank out of a bidet.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
