I'm drive I can fine osifer
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
