You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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