Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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