i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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